A phrase that has become regularly used in our modern culture is “victim mentality.” When we hear this phrase, what does it refer to? Consider the following definition:
“Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on clear thought processes and attribution. In some cases, those with a victim mentality have in fact been the victim of wrongdoing by others or have otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own. However, such misfortune does not necessarily imply that one will respond by developing a pervasive and universal victim mentality where one frequently or constantly perceives oneself to be a victim.
“The term is also used in reference to the tendency for blaming one’s misfortunes on somebody else’s misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism.” (Wikipedia)
In other words, simply being a victim of something does not automatically mean one has a “victim mentality.” According to this definition, a person is exhibiting a “victim mentality” if they behave as if they were a victim despite evidence that their victimhood is imagined or exaggerated. Being a victim refers to a specific event or set of circumstances, whereas the “victim mentality” means one is constantly blaming others for their troubles and taking no personal responsibility for their actions, choices, or conditions in life.
This article will consider the popular notion of the “victim mentality.” Many people today constantly blame others for their circumstances, believe they are trapped in a miserable condition, and think they are powerless to do anything about it. Is this type of mindset compatible with the life of a Christian? Let us consider a few points.
We Cannot Blame Anyone Else for Our Actions
Those who adopt a “victim mentality” will often shift the blame for their actions to others. They claim that since someone, some group, or even society itself wronged them somehow, they cannot help but act in an undesirable manner.
God addressed this type of “victim mentality” among His people. Notice what Ezekiel wrote:
“‘What do you mean by using this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying, “The fathers eat the sour grapes, But the children’s teeth are set on edge”? As I live,’ declares the Lord GOD, ‘you are surely not going to use this proverb in Israel anymore.’” (Ezekiel 18:2-3).
God then described three generations – a righteous man, his wicked son, and the wicked man’s righteous son (Ezekiel 18:5-18). The people did not understand how the righteous son could avoid suffering because of his wicked father: “‘Yet you say, “Why should the son not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity?” When the son has practiced justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live. The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself’” (Ezekiel 18:19-20). In their minds, the righteous son should have been a victim of his circumstances and could not help but sin and suffer the punishment for it. Yet he was able to overcome the negative influence of his wicked father, choose to do what was right, and enjoy the favor of God as a result.
We may suffer consequences for others’ deeds. That happens all of the time. However, we decide how we will respond – both with our actions and attitude. Others may be to blame, at least in some way, for our current circumstances. Yet we can work to overcome our negative circumstances rather than give in to the “victim mentality” in which we constantly perceive ourselves as helpless to influence our current situation.
Paul explained that we will stand before the Lord as individuals to be judged: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10). No matter what suffering we have endured or how much we have been wronged, we still have the responsibility and the ability to do what is right.
Everyone Faces Trouble in This Life
Remember what Job said amid the trouble he faced: “Man, who is born of woman, is short-lived and full of turmoil” (Job 14:1). Job suffered much more than most of us have. Yet rather than just highlighting his personal trials, he explained that suffering is common to everyone. This is just the reality of living in a world that has been corrupted by sin. Everyone is a “victim” of something. Yet the “victim mentality” causes people to exaggerate – or even fabricate – troubles in their own lives while ignoring or minimizing the difficulties that others face.
However, while it is true that everyone faces trouble in life, Christians will undoubtedly face a certain type of suffering. That does not mean that Christians are claiming a “victim mentality,” that is just the reality presented in the Scriptures. Notice the following passages:
“Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation” (1 Peter 4:12-13).
There will be times when Christians will face some degree of persecution because of their faith. However, rather than becoming depressed or discouraged over being targeted, Peter told Christians to rejoice because they were sharing the sufferings of Christ. While Paul was sitting in prison, he wrote to the church in Philippi and said, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
Christians Are Not to Adopt a “Victim Mentality”
We will undoubtedly face trouble in life. As Christians, we will especially be targeted for that reason. Yet that does not mean we adopt the mentality of a “victim.” Notice some things that Paul said:
- “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). – Christians face hardships, but we can overcome them.
- “But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself” (1 Corinthians 4:3). – Like Paul, we may be judged unfairly; but we should view it as a “small thing.”
- “They took his advice; and after calling the apostles in, they flogged them and ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and then released them. So they went on their way from the presence of the Council, rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name” (Acts 5:40-41). – Like the apostles, we are to rejoice in the face of persecution, not moan and whine about it.
Rather than adopting a “victim mentality,” we must embrace a “victor mentality.” Notice what Paul wrote:
“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Just as it is written, ‘For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:35-37).
Despite the trials, suffering, persecution, and death that Christians could be facing, Paul said that we “overwhelmingly conquer” all of these things through Christ. He continued:
“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
When we recognize that nothing can defeat us or separate us from the love of Christ, it becomes difficult to hold onto a “victim” status. In fact, when we recognize the Lord’s promises, and we are faithfully following Him, adopting a “victim mentality” and treating that as our identity (which many people do) is absurd.
After writing about his “thorn in the flesh,” which he asked God three times to remove, Paul said, “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). The “victim mentality” keeps people miserable through what they are suffering. But since Paul had adopted a “victor mentality,” he was content.
Conclusion
Our culture wants to convince everyone that they are a “victim.” This makes it easy to blame others for everything and take no responsibility for our actions. Yet as Christians, no matter what our circumstances might be, we “overwhelmingly conquer” through Christ (Romans 8:37). Whatever trouble we face in life is only “momentary, light affliction” (2 Corinthians 4:17). Let us not allow the difficulties we face overshadow the blessings and promises we have from God.
———
Listen to the podcast episode on this topic – The Christian and the “Victim Mentality” (08.10.23)
Here is a clip from that episode:
