Suffering is a reality of life. Job said, “Man, who is born of woman, is short-lived and full of turmoil” (Job 14:1). Job certainly experienced more trouble in life than most do, but suffering exists for us all. The book of Proverbs contains instructions that will help us deal with the troubles of this life.
Dealing with Our Own Suffering
The first person’s suffering we have to learn how to deal with is our own. In order to do this, we need to understand the realities and challenges we face during hard times.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (13:12).
It is natural for disappointing circumstances to affect us. When events in life occur as we would hope, the wise man describes this as “a tree of life.” Yet when hope is deferred, meaning that which we desire is left unfulfilled, it has a negative impact upon us. Dealing with suffering does not mean we ignore the reality of it or deny that it can be a challenge. To do so only sets us up to be overcome by it.
“The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy” (14:10).
In making a point about divine revelation, Paul expressed a fundamental truth about the thoughts of man: “For who among men knows the thoughts of man except the spirit of the man which is in him?” (1 Corinthians 2:11). Each person is well-acquainted with the sorrows he experiences in life. Strangers do not have the insight into one’s thoughts that he does. So while others may try to help when one is suffering, such help may not always seem adequate. This is not because those who try to help are not as concerned as they ought to be. It is simply because it is impossible for them to know the thoughts, circumstances, and experiences of the sufferer as he does.
“A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken” (15:13).
Suffering within one’s heart will often affect how one presents himself before others. Though there are times when one may try and hide his sorrow (cf. 14:13), generally, one indicates through facial expressions and body language the mood of his heart. Hence, the “joyful heart makes a cheerful face.” However, Solomon tells us that “when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.” Sorrow, particularly excessive and prolonged sorrow, makes it difficult for one’s spiritual life to be healthy. If we allow the hardships and calamities of this life to cause us to forget the great blessings and promises of God, then we pass from a state of difficulty into utter despair.
“All the days of the afflicted are bad, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast” (15:15).
The wise man contrasts one who is “afflicted” with one who has “a cheerful heart.” The implication is that the one who is “afflicted” is not just one who faces difficult circumstances (which we all do), but it refers to one whose attitude is such that he has reached the point in which his “spirit is broken” (15:13). For such a person with no positive outlook or hope, everyday will be bad. But the one with a “cheerful heart,” though he may experience troubles in life, is able to have a “continual feast” as he recognizes the blessings he has that come from above.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (17:22).
This verse mentions the importance of having a positive outlook. The “broken spirit” that has forgotten the goodness that God shows to us, “dries up the bones.” Later, Solomon asks: “The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit who can bear it?” (18:14). In contrast, having a “joyful heart” does us good. This is not describing the heart of one who ignores the problems of life and allows himself to hold onto a false hope. Rather, the one with a “joyful heart” is one who recognizes the good with which God has blessed him and the promises for the faithful, despite his circumstances.
Dealing with the Suffering of Others
We can all see that suffering is a reality in our own lives. But we must recognize that others face troubles in life as well. We cannot focus only on ourselves. We should try to help others when they are hurting. But we must be careful that we offer the right kind of help, otherwise we may only make their suffering worse.
“Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief” (14:13).
It is possible for one to be suffering, but we are unaware of it because they have tried to cover it up behind a facade of laughter and joy. This is a reminder for us that we should not be too quick to dismiss the possibility that one may need our encouragement, support, or sympathy, even though they try to put on a cheerful face when they are going through hardships.
“Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, is he who sings songs to a troubled heart” (25:20).
Solomon’s point in this verse is simply that some things are not appropriate in certain situations. There may be a time to remove a coat, but it is not on a cold day. Vinegar and soda, when mixed together, causes a reaction, rending the soda (nitre, KJV) useless. There is a time to sing songs, particularly in a time of joy (cf. James 5:13). But such careless cheerfulness is not appropriate, and often unwelcome, when one is going through a time of grief. We must do our best to be aware of the feelings and hardships of others, so that we do not act in an inappropriate manner, thus causing further grief to their already “troubled heart.”
