When it comes to our responsibilities within the local church, exercising church discipline is often one of the more difficult commands to obey. This could be because we do not want to break ties with our erring brethren. It might be because we do not want to be accused of being judgmental or unloving. Perhaps we are not sure when or how to exercise discipline. All of these factors contribute to the fact that discipline is often neglected when it is needed.
However, what often happens (at least in my limited experience) is that those brethren who are unfaithful and need to repent have already stopped assembling with the congregation. They have, in essence, withdrawn themselves from the local church. What is our responsibility in that situation? Is it true, as some have said, that you cannot withdraw from those who have already withdrawn themselves?
Before answering that question, let us be reminded of a few passages that discuss church discipline.
“It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife. You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst. For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present. In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. […] I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one” (1 Corinthians 5:1-5, 9-11).
“Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on [mark, KJV] those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting” (Romans 16:17-18).
“Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us. […] If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother” (2 Thessalonians 3:6, 14-15).
In the verses above, we see three things a local church must do when one of its own is in sin and refuses to repent:
- The brethren must cease interactions with the erring brother or sister that are purely social in nature.
- The church is to identify the erring brother or sister so that others are aware of the situation and are not led astray by them.
- Everyone involved must look for and take advantage of any opportunity to encourage the wayward Christian to repent.
So, in the (all too common) case of one who stops attending the services of their local church and lives their life as one of the world, what are we to do? On the one hand, if such an individual has withdrawn themselves from all contact with their brethren, it is hard to see how we can withdraw from them any further. Yet this is where the other two steps listed above become so important.
- When erring Christians have “withdrawn themselves” from the local church, they need to be identified by the congregation so that others can (1) pray for them, (2) encourage them to return, and (3) guard against the worldly influence of that erring brother.
- Withdrawing from an erring brother has to do with ending purely social interactions with them in order to help them realize the severity of their sinful behavior. It does not mean we cut off all contact with them, otherwise we would never have an opportunity to “admonish” them (2 Thessalonians 3:15) or turn them “from the error of [their] way” (James 5:20).
So even though it may be true from a practical standpoint that we cannot withdraw from someone who has withdrawn themselves from us, that does not mean we sit back and do nothing. We still have a responsibility to try to help them. This will include teaching them (if they will listen) to help them see their sin and also encouraging them to repent. It will also involve identifying them before the congregation (though not gossiping about them) so that all the brethren may be aware of the situation and can try to help. It is often the case that even when one quits attending their local church and closes off communication with the “leaders” in the church (elders, preachers, etc.), they may still be in contact with some members of the congregation. By identifying that person, these ones that the erring Christian may be more likely to trust could be in a position to help lead them back to the Lord.
Part of the reason we may feel at a loss sometimes regarding what to do when someone stops attending is because we have conditioned ourselves to think of the assembly of the church as the only time we see and interact with our brethren. If we have never shared a meal with someone before, how can we stop eating with them when they refuse to give up their sin (1 Corinthians 5:11)? If we never speak with our fellow Christians outside of the regularly scheduled assemblies of the local church, when would we have a chance to admonish them when they no longer want to follow the teachings of the New Testament (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15)? If we do not even know who our brethren are, what good would it do for the elders to mark them (Romans 16:17)?
However, if we know our brethren, have conversations with them, and have a close enough relationship to share a meal with them, our efforts to help turn them back when they stray from the truth (James 5:19-20) will be much more effective. Then, if they quit attending the services of the local church, we still have a way to reach out to them while they may still be reachable.
So if one of our fellow Christians chooses to “withdraw themselves” from our number, we are still responsible for trying to do something to help them. They may have initiated the withdrawal, but we still need to identify and admonish them so that they might be turned back to the Lord and others may not fall away.
