For many, empathy is considered an unquestionably positive virtue. Yet in a new book provocatively titled The Sin of Empathy, author Joe Rigney challenges that assumption. In it, he argues that empathy is very different from the Biblical concept of compassion. In fact, he suggests that our culture has distorted compassion and created “empathy” as a justification for sinful and destructive behaviors. He described the pressure to conform to this counterfeit of compassion as living “under the progressive gaze.”
Here is the description of the book:
The so-called virtue of empathy is the greatest rhetorical tool of manipulation in the 21st century.
Because love is a real virtue, empathy’s power is in posing as selfless care for victims.
A sad polar bear paces as David Attenborough informs you that the family suburban is melting the ice caps.
“Jesus was an asylum seeker!” the sign reads at an Open Borders Rally.
A forlorn Bruno wishes he too could change in the women’s locker room, a place he’s always known he belonged.
“My mom said if we don’t go she’ll be just devastated.”
When you reject the sin of empathy, you reject the manipulation of the media, the manipulation of family and friends, and most importantly, the manipulation of your own heart.
This book addresses a real problem. Pity has been weaponized, and our concern for others has been exploited to pressure us to accept any sinful lifestyle or destructive behavior in others lest we risk offending them. In our culture, the term “abuse” has been redefined to include not just “physical or sexual violence,” but now also “criticism, rebuke, correction, and even disagreement” (p. 55). Trauma no longer means “physical damage, or even an event causing severe emotional distress”; it now is used for “any emotional distress” (p. 55). This means that empathy will lead one to join one in his suffering but will not call him to deal with the sinful or destructive choices that led to or exacerbated his suffering.
At this point, one may argue that this is not how they would define empathy. The author acknowledged that this term is difficult because it is a relatively new term and may be used in a number of ways. In order to differentiate sympathy (or compassion) from empathy, he used an illustration of a man sinking in quicksand. He wrote, “If a sufferer is sinking in quicksand, an empathetic helper jumps in after them with both feet. A sympathetic helper, on the other hand, steps into the quicksand with one foot while keeping the other firmly planted on the shore (there’s the emotional boundary). Sympathy lays hold of something sturdy outside of the pit in order to provide an anchor, so that we can help the one in the quicksand” (p. 11).
This distinction is important for Christians. We are to show compassion (Colossians 3:12). At the same time, we recognize that God has given us a perfect and fixed standard in His word (James 1:25; Psalm 119:89). If we are going to help anyone, we have to remain anchored to the Scriptures, otherwise, our efforts will ultimately be destructive to us and the ones we try to help. The wise man said, “Good understanding produces favor, but the way of the treacherous [transgressors, KJV] is hard” (Proverbs 13:15). Sinful behaviors, attitudes, and decisions have negative consequences. That must be acknowledged. Yet we cannot justify sin in the name of “empathy” and, therefore, discourage the repentance that will truly remedy the problem.
My biggest complaint about this book is the title – The Sin of Empathy. The author included an appendix that defended the use of “provocative rhetoric” like this. There may be a place for that at times, but I do not think this was the place for it. Most of the comments I have seen on social media about this book have been overwhelmingly critical. I suspect that many (maybe even most) of these are from people who never read the book but assumed they knew what it was about based on the title. From a marketing standpoint, this got a lot of people talking about it and surely drove some sales for the book (hence the reason I bought a copy even though I know nothing about the author). But if someone chooses not to read a book because of the title, it will never do them any good.
Despite the title, I believe this book is worth a read to help us understand the difference between Biblical compassion and our culture’s concept of empathy. We need to be compassionate and help lead people out of sin and to look to Christ for hope in their suffering. However, we do not need to ignore sinful ideas and destructive behaviors because we are afraid of offending someone. We will never help them that way.
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This book is available on Amazon – The Sin of Empathy: Compassion and Its Counterfeits (affiliate link)
